A safe place
The power of parenting
In the face of their own mental health challenges, Eleanor, a journalist, and Robin, a major crimes detective, always knew parenting wouldn't be easy.
Eleanor, diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has been living with these conditions since childhood. Meanwhile, Robin experiences Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from his military service and years as a homicide detective.
Their journey has included therapy for their own conditions and the loss of their first son to neonatal death. Aidan, 10, their bright and resilient young boy, has received therapy for his own anxiety and sensory challenges, showing remarkable progress along the way.
“Robin and I always said, even when Aidan was a baby... We’re meeting a person, not making a person," says Eleanor. "We are there to guide him.”
“While parenting is tough, it’s the most rewarding job on earth.”
Because Eleanor has personally experienced anxiety and depression for much of her life, she passionately advocates for reducing the stigma around mental health.
She recounts how Aidan refers to his therapist as his ’talking doctor’, highlighting the importance of open dialogue.
“I noticed the anxiety in Aidan very early on," she says. "So, I made it my mission to learn how to deal with it. We took him to therapy. I want to take away that stigma attached to mental health. The same way you get treated for diabetes; you have to be treated for mental illness. There is no shame in it.”
“Ever since I can remember Aidan’s always loved small spaces. He always climbs into boxes, climbs into cupboards, under chairs, under tables," says Eleanor.
"Initially we were nervous about it, but his therapist said it was just a comfort thing.” Through therapeutic tools like weighted blankets and headphones, Aidan finds his way to calmness.
Their family values moments of togetherness, using creativity as a bonding tool. Baking, playing board games, crafting, and pursuing shared interests have become cherished activities in their household.
“Aidan has taken to baking and he even asked for a stand mixer for his last birthday, so we will spend time in the kitchen together,” says Eleanor.
“As a family we love spending time at home,” says Eleanor.
“I think it comes from our individual challenges with social anxiety. Home has become very much a place of comfort and is a safe space," she says.
"We’ve equipped our house with games and art supplies, turning it into a place we can disconnect from the world. Playing together as a family is essential because we spend most of our days apart, and there’s nothing like reconnecting."
“Often as adults, we get so trapped in doing things we have to do, and we forget to do things because we want to do them.”
The family sees home as a sanctuary free from societal pressures and Aidan's father Robin is determined to break the cycle of toxic masculinity by encouraging emotional expression.
“I grew up in a household where I was told that ‘big boys, or cowboys, don’t cry’,” he says.
“I don't want to raise my son with that mindset. He can express his emotions freely. We should stop stigmatizing mental health and victimizing people with mental health challenges. Taking mental health seriously can lead to a better world.”
The power of parenting
Every child deserves to grow up in a loving, nurturing and safe environment.
But providing nurturing care takes time and resources – things that many parents and caregivers don’t have.
UNICEF believes every parent and caregiver should receive the support they need to give their children the best possible start in life. Caregivers who receive the support and skills to cope with stress and manage their mental health are also better able to care for their children.
A strong parental attachment is the single biggest protective factor in the life of any child.
Evidence shows that family-friendly policies contribute to thriving children and happier families – as well as gender equality, workforce productivity and sustainable economic growth.
In South Africa, UNICEF is advocating for referrals to parenting support programmes across sectors, including at primary health care centres.
>> Learn more about UNICEF's work to support parents and caregivers.
>> Explore UNICEF Parenting: Helpful tips and guidance for parents and caregivers
